HOW TO ACTUALLY SHOW UP FOR YOUR PREGNANT FRIEND

Bestie drops the pregnancy news and suddenly you're crying, screaming, and doing a full happy meltdown over video call. Once the dust settles though,  how do you actually show up for her? Here's your guide.

Hold the joy with her

Pregnancy can feel like it gets brushed off sometimes. Society treats it as routine, and well-meaning people can accidentally make it feel like old news. But there is a baby coming, and that is genuinely exciting. Be the person who matches her energy, celebrates the milestones, and reminds her that this is a big, beautiful deal. She needs that hype, and you're just the person to give it.

Take things off her plate

If you can, take the lead on planning the baby shower, it’d be one less thing for her to manage while growing an entire human. Beyond that, the practical stuff matters more than people realise. Offer to help with chores, drop off a cooked meal or some healthy groceries, or drive her to a prenatal appointment. Don't wait to be asked. A specific "can I pick up some nappies?" lands so much better than a vague "let me know if you need anything."

Be her safe space

Pregnancy comes with a lot of feelings; there’s  excitement, fear, uncertainty, and everything in between. What she doesn't need is unsolicited advice or anyone else's horror birth story. What she does need is someone who listens without judgment, checks in with a simple text, and lets her feel all of it without making it weird. Be that person.

Keep things normal

It's easy to accidentally make every interaction about the pregnancy. She's still her; she still wants to laugh, hang out, and feel like herself. Suggest low-key plans: a movie night in, a slow walk, a cup of tea and good conversation. Treat her to a massage or a hair appointment. Let her have moments that are just about her, not just about the bump.

Think beyond the birth

The support doesn't stop when the baby arrives. If anything, that's when it's needed most. Coordinate a meal train with mutual friends for those first few weeks. Check in, show up, and keep asking specific questions. New motherhood can feel overwhelming and isolating, and knowing her people are still around makes all the difference.

Thinking of what to get the new mum in your life? We've put together a few thoughtful ideas she'll truly appreciate 💕

✨ A spa day or mummy massage – because every new mum deserves a moment to relax and recharge.

🍽️ A Deliveroo voucher – one less thing to think about on busy days.

📞 Your time and company – a FaceTime call, a visit, or simply checking in can mean more than you realise.

📖 A baby memory book – a beautiful way to capture those precious first milestones.

🧺 Practical support, such as:

• Babysitting vouchers

• Laundry services

• Meal prep or grocery deliveries

• Postpartum doula sessions

Sometimes the best gifts aren't things at all—they're the support, care, and moments of rest that help a new mum feel seen and looked after. 💗

Showing up for a pregnant friend or post-partum friend isn't about doing everything perfectly, it's about being consistent, present, and genuinely in her corner.

She's lucky to have you.

Hope you found this helpful!

Dr Ada Anatune ( Medical doctor and writer)